Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
