so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
