Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
