I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
