Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
