You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
