It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
