It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
