It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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