Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
