do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
