all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
