Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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