This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
