Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
