Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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