She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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