she smelled like a LAN party
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
