I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
