i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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