If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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