I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
