Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
