The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
