My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
