My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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