and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
they're like a gay fantastic four
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
