I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
