I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
