I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
