"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
