so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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