i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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