I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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