Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
