are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
