I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
