no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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