Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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