I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
