You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
