You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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