Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
