They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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