quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
