Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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