Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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