it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just pee around me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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