Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
