kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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