Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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